It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Unbearable Shite

So, I previously mentioned that I'm not a fan of Christmas. A few of you have asked me why (okay, none have, but I recieved some abuse 4 months ago) I don't like it. We'll start off with the abuse. How can I be compared with Scrooge? Surely to God (irony ftw), he made someone work on Christmas, no? So he's ruining Christmas for that person. Whereas I am harmless. I don't stop anyone from celebrating it. I force myself to join in year in, year out (Only at home and only on 25th December, though). So I don't prevent anyone from celebrating it, and I don't lessen my family's enjoyment of it. In fact, this year (when I had my all time high for Christmas dislike) when Derian House in Chorley was ransacked, a Bolton forum I occasionally frequent raised money to help replace the ransacked items and give the kids a good Christmas. I donated the £30 that I received from Pizza Hut that week (I don't why I received it, I left two months previous). Compare that with the amount you donated to them, and it appears that you are more like Scrooge than I am. By the by, this isn't a "look at me, I donated to charity, I'm a swell fella" statement, it's merely informing folk of facts. Just cos I don't like Christmas, doesn't mean I find it acceptable when people who do, have it snatched away from them.

Anyway, why do I not like Christmas? There are many reasons. Firstly, it's selfish. Raise your hand if you've honestly not looked forward to Christmas cos you're getting either a specific present, or money. Thought not. Okay, another reason why people like it is the food. Is there some sort of law in place that demands you can't make the food you make at Christmas on 25th January as well? Or the 3rd July? Or the 29th February (every 4 years, like). No. No, there isn't. And then there's this "season of goodwill" bollocks. Apparently being nice to people for a month towards the end of the year makes up for being an utter cunt the other 11. So, would Adolf Hitler have been a decent guy if he was nice to people at Christmas? Where is the line with it? Yes, I did compare you all with the evil dictator.

Well, that's the non-religious Christmas lovers (who have as much right to celebrate Christmas as they do Diwali or Eid). I'm an atheist, as I've mentioned. Now for this birth of Jesus bollocks. It's a well documented fact that Jesus wasn't born in December. Not even close. If the shepherds truly watched over their flock and saw a star, it'd be more like October at the latest. Why? Because they pen in the sheep in the cold winter months. Also, Christmas isn't even a Christian holiday. It's a pagan holiday. As is Hallowe'en, another "holiday" I dislike. Even so, they didn't pass around presents. A misquoted fact is that most suicides occur around Christmas, but that isn't true. But it is one of the more popular days for people to try.

Which brings me onto a final point. Now imagine for a moment, that you are this man. You were an only child. Your parents are both dead. Any immediate family you have aren't around. Your wife has left you and took the kids. You've lost your job. You have feck all money. You look out the window, and see pretty much everyone being merry and enjoying themselves. You feel like shit. The fact that everyone is enjoying themselves, with their families. And then there's you. Alone. Depressed. Barely enough money to feed yourself. It's amplified by everyone's joy. Don't get me wrong, there's not a large group of people quite this tragic. This is a fairly weak point, because if it's not you, you don't particularly care, no? Me neither. But it's still something to think about. I'm aware that they'd love to trade with me, who would have family and a heap of shite they don't even need. But hey, what am I to do about it? Hunt down these people and offer them my place for a month?


I didn't intend this to become some sort of self righteous rant (although it's not self righteous imo, I don't even need some of these reasons to dislike Christmas) and I don't intend for it to make you enjoy Christmas any less. I just would like to explain myself as to why I don't like Christmas. This December, I'd love nothing less than to be locked away for a month, no newspapers, no telly. No annoying adverts with the same shit Christmas song on every 2 fucking minutes. A la the ASDA advert from last Christmas. And hour after hour of shite Christmas special reruns and shite new Christmas special. I'd rather be locked in a cupboard with a tennis ball to amuse myself. I've read a book by Drew Carey, who also dislikes Christmas, and reading that has only opened my eyes further as to what bullshit Christmas is. According to someone (I shan't say who, it's slightly libellous... and you can never be too careful), that makes me a horrible person. Maybe so (although not for that reason), but at least I don't follow some expensive bullshit, like you.


They Call Him Rutman - bringing you well structured arguments against everyone's favourite bullshit since 2009.